19. (or seventeen.): A Tired Pirate.

The highlight of today: impromptu piracy. I gave J. his own "center" at free time -- supplied him with construction paper, ribbon, scissors, glue, paper bags, popsicle sticks, and said he could lead the kids who came to his center in whatever endeavor he could dream up.
He rolled paper into a cone and was delighted to discover he'd made a telescope! When told it could also be a megaphone (in not so many words), he was adamant: No. It's a telescope. For "doing like this: Arr." (finger used as hook-hand.) Tie a ribbon around the bottom and you have an elegant piratescope. I inadvertently mentioned the word 'eye patch' and suddenly found myself commissioned to make eyepatches out of paper bags and string. I'm not the craftiest of individuals, but that almost makes it funnier, really. Two kids wandering around with eye patches, taking them very seriously, asking me to repair them when the string fell off, etc. "Ar," say they. I try to channel the pirate mood to help motivate them to clean up. The colored blocks are all over the floor. Each pirate is assigned a color of block as their own 'treasure.' Who can collect most? This works for some of them for quite some time. Let's say it's developing good visual discrimination skills.

Also enjoyed the 'Splotch Collage' activity today. For our 'morning work,' I commissioned them to make a splotch. Any shape, in their Explorer notebooks. Station 1: crayons, 2: markers, 3: patterned papers and scraps to glue in mosaic-style -- or any-other-style. They made some quality splotches. And really got into it. We put them all together in a collage at the end. I wish this were all I did. Splotches and such.

These highlights make things sound rather peachy. Pirates and artistic adventures...
but honestly,
today I was mad. Mad at them. For their apparent inability or unwillingness to ever obey a request/order/direction the first time they are asked. For their sabotaging learning activities by yelling, by having conversations with one another instead of listening to directions; for making me constantly have to address them, one by one by one by one by one, over and over and over and over again. And then they complain that something is 'boring.' It started raining during recess today. They had to come in. Music practicers were using their indoor recess area. They had to sit and watch. This put them in a foul mood in the afternoon.
I'm tired of hearing my own voice saying obnoxious teacher things.
I ended the day sitting them down and praying over them, for our willingness and ability to learn and obey. I warned them that tomorrow would be serious business. Follow directions the first time, or 'change your card.' A red card means you leave the room. Period.
Do you know how often I have resolved to be merciless this year? So many times.
I wondered today if I will be a bad mother. Inconsistent, too weak... not on top of enough things.
I am so tired of loving such disrespectful children.