29. (seven.)

Today we made windsocks. This I love. It’s so easy, too. Some ribbon for the tails, construction paper for the cylinder-body, some string and tape for the handle… everyone wrote “and you will be my witnesses…to the ends of the earth” on the papers before rolling them into ‘sockses.’… and then we wooshed out the door to go proclaim the message of Jesus to the world, by the power of the Holy Spirit.

We ran with the windsocks a little first. Up and down the sidewalk. Red, yellow, purple, pink, green construction paper…blue and yellow tails. “God made the world!” we call out to the neighborhood. “People messed it up! I sinned! God came into the world and He died for me! Hallelujah! He’s alive!” No door can stop the Spirit. No window can stop the Spirit. No man can stop the Spirit. We hear the story of Peter and John healing the crippled man at the Beautiful gate by the Spirit’s power… how surprised the officials were; those who thought they’d rid the world of Jesus were shocked to find He’d come back in an unimaginable, unprecedented, unstoppable way. In every one of His people. The Spirit of God! … I wonder what the kiddos will remember from all of this.

Our first ‘market day’ today. I lay out one of those classic parachutes that gym and preschool teachers use for wacky and magical games with children (games that degenerate into wild chaos. I know this because I decided to use our extra time at the end of the market to use the parachute for its original purpose. Won’t be trying that again anytime soon.). Each color-space on the parachute will be a market stall. We set up shop. I ‘sell’ apples. A. sells an Ecuador t-shirt, a vase from Chile, and a drum of unknown origin (good job, A.’s parents! You actually read the letter about our activity. Thanks for that.). A2 sells her Barbie dolls and a stuffed pig. J. sells pictures gathered from our classroom. S. sells various and sundry objects gathered from our Pretend Center.

I kick it off by juggling my apples and calling out ‘Apples for sale! Come buy my apples!’ and… bam. Our market is off and running. Watch the trading instincts of humankind whir into action. Soon we’re wheeling and dealing like pros, and our market really is bustling with activity. I start with two designated shoppers at a time, but before I know it, everybody’s in, and the sellers are even selling to one another. How proud they all are of their purchases.

And today, the question. It’s an all-year question. How do you deal with righteous anger? I don’t want to feel angry. I don’t want to act angry. But darn it, they make me angry sometimes! The perpetual, repeated disrespect. I know they hear me the first time I give them a direction. Sometimes I ask them what I’ve said, just to be sure. They heard. Am I just hurt that they treat me like dirt or like a machine there for their entertainment, to be ignored whenever what comes out of my mouth doesn’t suit their purposes of the moment? I don’t know how to bear this happening all day, day after day; how to repeat myself so much. “A firm hand at first,” some would say. “You’ll prevent it from becoming a problem.” I want to answer back: Have you tried?

I want to show mercy. I seek to show mercy. Love. Grace under pressure. To model the courtesy and politeness I want so much for them to catch. But how do you...

How much God bears from us. How much God bears from me. How perfect His balance of righteous anger and merciful patience. How do I, I as a human, limited and fallible and oh, so LIMITED, die daily for my children, yet also firmly rebuke them and train them in ‘right from wrong?’ Age old question, right? With 13 children, it’s an intense one. It never stops.