24. (twelve.): how long, o Lord?

" Confuse the wicked, O Lord, confound their speech,
for I see violence and strife in the city . . .
Destructive forces are at work in the city;
threats and lies never leave its streets.
... God, who is enthroned forever,
will hear them and afflict them—
men who never change their ways
and have no fear of God.

... Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall... as for me, I trust in you. "
[portions of Psalm 55.]

Rough. Rough.
And it's interesting how it seems to come in epidemics, in waves. Other teachers with shellshocked expressions at the end of the day, too. Just like me. I could have cried in front of them today. The children, that is. So frustrated with their rudeness and total disobedience today. Unbelievable.
Or is it? Psalm 55 knew them before I did. We have been suffering the pain of wickedness for millennia. Millennia.
Destructive forces at work in the way they're being raised. Or not being raised. The expectations not being placed on them.

You will judge those who reject You. I pray that my children won't be those. But if they are... May I give You the pain of seeing them sin, Lord? Of being the very object of their rudeness, disregard, and arrogance?
You healed and faced every form of sin's distortion, Lord; Spurgeon reminded me of this this morning. Every form of sickness. Every color of harm that sin does. The particular 'diseases' of each child in my care. Oh, Father. I cannot bear it all. You do. You did. Please help me cast it out. Please call them to repent. In Your time, Lord. In Your time...
meanwhile. I had to send three out today. It feels sometimes
like I just can't take it anymore.
Oh how I need You.

Oh how hard it can be to remember You fully during the day.
But I've never known You fully. There's so much more of You yet to know, yet to know.
And I must trust that You're revealing more through even this.

Okay, here it is: the question of the day. It's worth the wait, really. The same lad who's been asking after my future sons and daughters today asked, during afternoon math time, out of the blue: "God didn't give you a man yet?"
as if I should have picked one up with my lunch today. . .
[My dear Visiting Friend says tomorrow will be bring-your-teacher-a-husband day for teacher appreciation week. Mercy!]

I did love, today, the sound of three of them giggling uncontrollably. Silly geese.
sigh.
Your Kingdom come
Your Kingdom come!
Your Kingdom, come.