(our room .. in october.) (parachuting .. in april.) (i wish i could show you more. their beauty, the small ones. but their faces are not mine to share.) I have no pictures of the last day, except in my mind.
Today I am home with strep throat; I was supposed to be there setting up for tonight's big graduation. Adding to the strangeness of a season's end
is my m.i.a.-ness today from the last hustle-bustle.
But it allows me to stop and see,
to try to understand that it happened, and it's done,
and to pray for the effects of the love poured out to ripple on and on and on,
in me,
in them, and outward.
"Who stole the alphabet?" my F. murmured low yesterday, looking upward.
I'd taken down the beautiful handmade paper picture-alphabet that dear Lizbeth crafted for me back in August. Passed it on to another teacher for use next year. That alphabet was a coveted item.
We started the day with Bible review. We looked at our four-column chart (1-before Abraham; 2-the age of Israel pre-Christ; 3-Christ's life on earth; 4-after Christ's life on earth till His second coming and the full restoration of His Kingdom) and sang songs that we'd learned for key parts of it. "God of Wonders." "Generations." "Baby Jesus." "I Come Running to You." "Worthy is the Lamb." "He Reigns." They remember a lot. "Why are you standing there looking up into the sky?" my little A. kept repeating. She remembers the ascension lesson best. They all blew their imaginary trumpets again, imagining the real Last Day. "Someone's coming..." we whispered, remembering the promises that preceded Jesus' birth.
I'm thankful for how God guided us through our Bible-study.
I hope that above all, the atonement and the invitation to relationship with the great Giver of Himself
are what stick.
They visited first grade the other day for an hour. I popped in to drop off a latecomer, and ever-eager-on-the-edge-of-flipping-out-with-excitement J. bounced in his chair. "We're in first grade!" he gushed. Skip a beat. His expression changes instantly to concern. "Do we get to go back?"
Darlings. What is ahead for them? We had a special thing going. They didn't really know it. But I pray for beauty to thrive and blossom in their hearts. The last day, and J. and J.-girl bring me tiny green leaves while we're in the park. "Can we put this in the Beautiful Box?"
Tonight, we say goodbye. Me, possibly in sign language, due to throat swelling. It hasn't hit me yet how much I love them and how finished our season together is.
It's been hard. Every day. I don't know how to explain it if you haven't felt it. The hurt and the frustration and the exhaustion. The apparent fruitlessness and the self-doubt and second-guessing. The disobedience. Teachers are Amazing People. Amazing people, they are. And I'm not speaking of myself, for I am walking to something else. Please go commend a teacher. Please pray for a teacher. Please go into an urban school and offer to pray, and to help.
God is faithful. God is sovereign--trust Him to redeem. There's a wideness in God's mercy beyond man's imagining. And when something is worth the pain, it doesn't mean the pain goes away.
Glory to God in the highest! Amen.
1 comment:
WOW!
:)
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